Daily Diary ~ 5 Years ago today my life took a turn I never planned on….

robert frost quote

5 years ago today I left my corporate job with nothing planned for the future. I walked out wondering what I would be doing and what road I would end up on.

The past 5 years have been a roller coaster of ups and downs. So many changes, life decisions, moments of panic, moments of sheer joy and every other emotion possible.

When I walked out of my job I wasn’t sure what to do the next day. I was so used to 13+ years of getting up and going to work in my business suit. I was used to knowing that every other Friday there would be money deposited in my checkbook and my life was balanced out. I didn’t have to think about how to pay my bills, what I would be doing from 6am to 8pm Monday through Fridays, who I would see each day…..life was not easy but it was consistent.

I worked in a high stress job that had me on blood pressure medicine and was starting to cause some health issues I kept ignoring.  All of my friends worked for the same company and my life had honestly revolved around my job for years. When I left it felt like my world was crumbling around me bit by bit. My friends had also lost their jobs and were finding new jobs and new people to get to know. I found myself with no schedule, no plans, no real goals other than to make it day by day.

I am blessed to have an incredibly supportive Husband who understood that I needed time to get used to not having my job. A Husband who did not blow a gasket or completely lose it when he came home from work one day and I had gutted the one bathroom in our house down to the studs. I had a bit of anger and frustration in me and well the bathroom wall took the brunt of it. I decided that we needed to redo the bathroom and it was going to happen that day.

I had no skills or ideas on how to fix it but I really just needed to pull down the wall and start fresh. Looking back now I realize that I took out all of my anger, frustration, and fear out on the bathroom. I must admit it was probably not the best decision I have made but it did feel good to rip the wall down.  Check out this blog post from Sept. 12, 2009 with an update on our bathroom remodel you can see just how far I took the bathroom.

One of the things I realized from ripping apart the bathroom was I needed to find something to do with my time. I had way to much time on my hand and was used to working 60+ hours a week…..thus the creation of this blog.

The blog started as an outlet for me to talk about life and focus on something other than redoing every single thing in our house. I needed to do something that did not cost a ton of money and would keep me entertained while I hunted for a job.

The job market was bleak 5 years ago to say the least. I was told that my best option with my MBA and 13+ years of corporate experience was to work on a fish processing boat…..yep not going to happen.

I kept looking for a job and typing away daily on the blog. I never honestly expected anyone to read it other than my parents. I figured it would be an online diary that I could look back on when I had a job and career again. NEVER IN THIS WORLD would I think that 5 years later the blog would turn into my full time job and career.

It wasn’t even a thought process that having a blog could be a job or a career.

Life is a funny thing some days….those dreams you never really think to talk about, the dreams that seem so distant that you just can’t imagine them coming true so you ignore them and put them in the back of your mind well they do come true….and I am living proof of it.

In the back of my mind I have always wanted to travel and explore the world, to live a life where I get to meet people and share my passions and joys with them, a life where I can help others and they can help me live the best life possible. All of these dreams were stuffed in a tight little locked box while I was working my old job. They just didn’t seem possible, realistic or an option to me. I was on the road of living my life day by day, week by week never taking time to look at my dreams or what I really wanted in life.

I was on a road that didn’t lead to where I really wanted to be but I never let myself think outside of the box I was living in until life through open the floodgates and said well here you go. Here is your life now and you get to make it happen or wither away and go back to what you are used to.

The road to the life I dreamed of has not been easy, it has been filled with more ups and downs, fears, worries, sleepless nights, days of wondering how to pay bills, how to make ends meet and so much more but in the end it was all worth it!

The days of having to scrimp and save made us appreciate each dollar that we earn and the value of it. The sleepless nights made it so I can truly fall asleep with a smile knowing we are reaching our dreams. The days of worry, fear, and ups and downs have shown me that life is not always easy and it is not always the road you plan on taking but if you push yourself and push for your dreams they really can come true!

If the past five years have taught me anything it is to embrace each day as if it is your last, to take time to really look at your dreams, to take the time to talk with your spouse about your goals, to take the time to REALLY LIVE LIFE for you honestly never know what the next day will bring.

Life is a crazy journey of ups and down and so many twists and turns that we can’t always plan or know what will happen tomorrow BUT we can do everything humanly possible to make sure that we are living the life we dreamed of and taking time to enjoy the little things that are so important in life.

 

 

Comments

  1. Skip says

    Tammilee,
    You’ve come a long way since you helped your Dad pick up newspapers and cans on the Lakewood Lions’ recycling project. Congratulations and best wishes for continuing success!
    skip

  2. Rose Siders says

    You have no idea how badly I needed to read this. Made my week. Thanks for sharing your struggle! I’m still finding my way in this full-time blogging world and there are many bumps in that road as I’m sure you know. I don’t have a bathroom to gut just yet (we are renting, but we close on our first home at the end of July, so maybe I can take to it with a sledge hammer. Sounds like great therapy to me :)
    Rose Siders recently posted..DIY Gold Striped Mouse Pad TutorialMy Profile

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